I haven't posted anything to my blog in a very long time. Life took a hold and I lost focus on a lot of things. From the excitement of my engagement, to moving to New York, to honestly not knowing how to continue my career, to sickness and death over and over in my family, to surgery.....it was just never ending. Somewhere in there I lost my passion....I lost my purpose. The sad thing was I didn't even miss it at first.
I closed out my performance career by shooting a movie in Atlanta; then I came to New York and started working at the Hyatt. Clearly, I was lost. Suddenly I enjoyed the stability of having a weekly check and my schedule literally never changing. I had no life, no dance, no real interaction with the arts. Other than the fact that I was working in Time Square and Broadway producers, actors, BET, MTV, Lifetime employees would have lunch there. So, there I was watching everyone's lives happen. Walking to work seeing lines outside of theaters. Walking past auditions. Not interested in class.
Then it happened...one day I woke up and realized I had gone completely crazy! 27 years of my life I've been dancing and all of the sudden I stop???? This was absolutely insane. At that moment, my mind changed. It was like a slap in the face. I was out of my rut. It's interesting what happens when you open your mind. In an instant you see the answers to all of the questions you've been asking yourself. What I've found, for me, is that fear always finds a new way to take over my mind. I've called it many different things, but it's always fear.
So, here I am daily coaching myself. Proud that I was able to see the light, but still not ready for the work ahead. Everyone has their own idea of success. I thought I reached a level of acceptable accomplishments, but now I see that there is more. God would not give me these gifts to just neglect whenever I get tired of them. No, they are a responsibility to Him, myself, and the universe. Gifts are not meant to be hidden, put on the shelf for a rainy day....they are meant to be shared and if you don't share your gifts they can be taken from you.
The best part about walking in your truth: when you open yourself up to receiving the greatness that is set aside for you, the universe will start to open doors. This has happened to me time and time again as well. I get tired, frustrated, fearful, lazy and I'm ready to give up, yet right when I find the strength and clarity to move on doors open and I mean miraculous doors! Since I've "bounced back" I've received numerous teaching jobs, multiple opportunities to produce, opportunities to direct and choreograph, and I've even gotten a call to perform. God will reward you for staying the course and fighting through the battles.
I needed this. A confession. It's good to tell the whole truth sometimes as this day in age we can impress a certain perception of ourselves without even trying to. I'm human so I'm allowed to fall, but one thing I knew I had to do was get back up. I've missed my blog....there's so much I want to do and share with everyone. The fear has held me back. I've been talking about a relaunch for a very long time. It looks like this is it!!!! theWERKingdancer is back!!!! And in New York this time....get ready....I won't let you down!!!!
